Saturday 19 January 2013

Morning Mood Swings - My Shower is Tri-Polar!

I live in an apartment building in Hamilton, and there is something very wrong with the plumbing. In the space of a single shower I laughed, cried, screamed and was boiled and frozen in between bouts of tolerable temperatures during which I could scrub up. In order to get decently showered I damn near had to stay in there long enough to get pickled, too.

Then there's my kitchen sink, where the hot water merely trickles from the tap. The water flow in the bathroom sink is fine, so I'm assuming they're different water lines. Takes a long time to run a sink for doing dishes, but that's okay. I don't do dishes anyway. They freak me out. Yes, that's a weird thing. I hate bits of food floating in water, and it makes me want to gag. If my daughter didn't voluntarily do the dishes, I'd have bought a counter-top dishwasher years ago.

I could complain to the landlord about the water situation, but it's a relatively minor inconvenience that gives me fodder for this blog (case in point right here). Believe me, coming up with stuff every day is not easy, even for someone as loquacious as myself. There are plenty of things I'd love to talk about, but either I can't, or nobody is as interested in the topic as I am.

I have kind of an odd personality quirk now, actually, where I really don't mind when things go totally wrong. Not just because of my writing either. The kinds of unavoidable problems I'm referring to actually make for an interesting day. Times when I've run out of gas and had to wait for the tow truck, or couldn't start my car (when I had one before). Days when I forgot to rinse the shampoo out of my hair because I was half asleep in the shower, even. It would just make me laugh. Being ADD my whole life, if I didn't learn to laugh at those things I'd have more problems than a crazy-ass shower.

I actually have to have a list of things I do immediately after getting out of the shower, as well as a very specific routine while I'm in the shower. Otherwise I forget things. I've forgotten to put on deodorant, forgotten to clean my ears, forgotten to brush my hair, you name it. It would be embarrassing if it weren't so funny. Usually I catch the error in time, but not always, and then I just had a joke to share with co-workers.

I used to be accused of having no sense of humour, but I know for a fact that's not the case. I'm not amused by juvenile humour or baby-talk, fart jokes (or even fake armpit-fart jokes). I'll leave those to the really mature gentlemen of the world. I am amused by the ridiculous and satirical. Sarcasm is a close, personal friend of mine. We share a pillow. I have a bit of bite to my wit, and either a person can take it or they can't, but I get pretty sassy.

Tongue-in-cheek is something I'm having a lot of fun with lately, as I've been chatting a lot with a very intelligent man with a similar bent. I'm kinda being a bad girl there, but that's okay. He's a grown man. He can take it. Of course, in all honesty I could take that, but sadly it's location, location, location.

Ah, well. Life is what it is. It's not just my shower that goes through mood changes. I get them when my brain kicks in and smacks the fun right out of my daydreams. Logic is my greatest enemy some days. It's a good thing I have a fantasy life, though, or I wouldn't be able to write the stuff I do. Some of it is more than just a little naughty, and I've got mad skills there. They do say, write what you know, and that's all I'm going to say on that subject! For now anyway.

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