Tuesday 8 January 2013

Venting on Yet Another Chauvinist

It's drives me completely batty, I tell you. Yet another man from a country that subjugates women was making snotty remarks about math books for women and how they needed to be prettier, since women couldn't understand the curriculum in an ugly book. I lost my mind, no pun intended. I never read his work as it is not only slanted against women, but also against any country other than his own. His remark was posted on the work of another writer, whose work is very engaging and that I read all the time, otherwise I never would have seen it.

So, I responded even though I know better. Anger overcame my better judgment. I didn't technically insult him, so I don't think I went too far. I only said that his attitudes toward women were beyond ridiculous. I then proceeded to tell him about my personal accomplishments, as well as mentioning my IQ, which makes me feel like an idiot because it basically means I've resorted to bragging. I did say that I normally don't like to talk about those thing, because I don't like to brag, but that I also didn't like it when someone denigrated half the world's population.

I could easily have said that I doubted he had achieved, or was capable of, even half as much, and I'd actually written that out. I decided against it, seeing as that becomes a personal attack. I was also tempted to tell him that I felt sorry for his new wife, but again that's too personal.

The problem is, nothing is ever achieved by these exchanges. I won't change his mind about the intelligence of women, and even if I do he probably won't be allowed to write anything that disagrees with the stance of his government. There seems to be a widely held suspicion that he writes under government control, and that he couldn't express a contrary opinion even if he wanted to. His attacks are so vicious against Americans, though, that it seems to me he enjoys being on that side of the argument.

The funny thing is, I would never have thought badly of his country until I read his writing. It would never have occurred to me that there were people like him living there. I didn't have any preconceived notions about his country or his government, and now suddenly my impressions are extremely negative. I realize you can't judge a country by the words of one person. I wouldn't want anyone judging all Canadians by my words, since not everyone holds the same opinions. The fact that we're free to express those opinions, however, is one of the things that defines my country.

We will never change anyone's mind by attacking them, and I know this from being on the receiving end, as well as on the delivery end. The more you attack, the less people will listen. Once you make someone defensive they tune you out. Sometimes, though, it just seems easier to whack someone upside the head with a brick, and maybe tying them down after and forcing them to listen to feminist literature until they beg for mercy. It certainly wouldn't make them think any less of women, since they already hold the lowest opinion possible.

The only way to redeem myself, I think, is to do some research and learn the realities of this man's country so that I do not continue thinking negatively and generalize his country by the leanings of a single person. I can't force myself to feel bad about what I said to him, since it was the truth and was not in the form of a personal attack. It's my internal anger that is more geared toward that scenario. Otherwise I showed remarkable restraint, I think, in the face of such temptation.

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