Valentine's Day...Blaaahhhhg

Now, how about that Valentine's Day, huh? So many people feeling the pressure to have a happy and romantic day with someone. Give me a break. Sure, it's nice to have someone acknowledge what you mean to them, but it's forced and obligatory. It's kind of like forcing someone into a relationship with you,  or worse, marriage. Relationships are tough enough without enforcing such a stereotypical version of romance, and marriage in particular is a field of landmines that needs no additional stress factors.

Still, we play the game. I was just doing some research on social media, and half of me was surprised regarding the statistics about online relationships, while the other half nodded its head in complete agreement. Did you know that one in every eight marriages in 2010 came about as a result of meeting someone through social media? One in eight! Part of me is shocked, while the other, more progressive part understands the phenomenon completely.

You see, I met my ex through a dating site, and we talked for some time online before we met. To me it's the best way to meet someone. I hate the bar scene for a million reasons. You can't get to know anyone when the music is at a decibel level conducive to massive hearing loss, to start, and all you really know about the person is that they like to drink in their spare time. Great. So much to recommend them, don't you think?

If you meet someone online you get a chance to know their personality without the desperate need to jump in the sack getting in the way. Sure, you can have chemistry with someone - believe me I know - but there isn't anything you can do about it so the distance puts that side of things on pause for a bit.

I have no problem with sex on a first date, or anything like that, because every person and every relationship is different, but that doesn't make it the right step in all circumstances. I'm not worried about someone thinking less of me if I choose to go that route. In fact, it's a good way to weed out the assholes that think like that about women. Still, it boils down to whether or not you're going to feel gross about sleeping with someone like that afterwards.

It's particularly an issue for women because sex for us is an intrusion into our bodies. We've allowed someone inside us, and if that person turns out to be slime, we feel like the slime got into us and contaminated us. Particularly if we're too careless to use a condom. Then it's gross and humiliating on every level. Plus there's the undeniable intimacy factor. In order for a woman to have an orgasm she has to be able to let go with someone and relax. Difficult for some, easy for some, impossible for others.

Another irritating difference between male and female orgasms apparently has to do with oxytocin and the pair bonding the chemical instills in women at the point of orgasm. Great. So women are hardwired to fall in love with someone they experience an orgasm with. It doesn't necessarily happen to that extent, but women have always been much more likely to develop an emotional connection to a man they've slept with, and particularly with a man they've had an orgasm with. I have no idea what the statistics are regarding masturbation, however. If there's a pair-bonding taking place there, I'm probably in serious trouble.

...and there I went, veering off into sex again. Not surprising, I suppose. I'm not particularly romantic, but V-Day and celibacy have combined to make sex a bit of a focal point. I even posted a teaser story on my fiction site that's the beginning of a piece of erotica I've started. I plan to add to it, making it a lot steamier - it would have to be, considering there really isn't even any sexual content just yet. Mostly a woman thinking about how horny she is and can't wait to bang some guy that she met online (if I were promoting the piece I'd be describing it a lot better, but it's not even done yet, so read at your own 'risk'). I'll get to the, um, meat and potatoes, so to speak, soon enough.

As to other things going on today, no there will be no V-Day celebration. I'll be taking Pepper in to the vet for his post-op check-up. I already went out for food, so we're good there. Then tonight is The Big Bang Theory. My guilty pleasure, and the only TV I watch, although I watch it on my laptop. I also get a kick out of the fact that it's a Canadian band that does the theme song. Hey, I'm a patriot, whether I bitch about my country or not. I love being Canadian, and will be Canadian until the day I day, no matter where I happen to be in the world.

The Big Bang Theory tonight is a V-Day special, though, so I suppose that counts as a sort-of celebration of the day. Not romantic for me, but for the characters, sure. Well, except for Raj and Stew, who are apparently having a singles party. Should be an interesting and funny show, as always. Of course, I can watch the show at any time. It doesn't have to be tonight, but I like the symmetry. Symmetry you ask? Well, being busy on V-Day is a good idea when you're not really romantically involved with anyone. I might as well fill up my time on something I enjoy doing, seeing as I have no intention of going out and looking for anyone.

What's kind of scary is that I read an article recently that February 15th is the day with the highest number of people cheating on their significant others. This is coming from a very popular 'dating' site that's mostly meant for people who do want to cheat. They get more sign-ups on the day after V-Day than they do any other day of the year. Huh. Guess the pressure of the day gets to everyone.

Apparently it's because people are smacked in the face with how lousy things really are in their relationship on V-Day because it's such a disappointment to them. Puh-lease! Use whatever excuse you want. Cheating is cheating. If you spent the other 364 days of the year (take a day off during leap-year, you have my permission) working on your relationship and being 'romantic', then V-Day would just be a continuation of that rather than an overly large mirror reflecting your failures.

If you're not happy in your relationship either fix it or get the hell out. Cheating is a stupid waste of time. It will not permanently inflate your flagging ego. It will only stomp you with the knowledge that you really are a lowlife scum and you don't deserve the partner you already have. Capisce? Believe me, unless you have zero conscience, cheating will make you feel really, really bad about yourself. Sociopaths are perfectly capable of cheating - are you a sociopath?

I think I'll get some more work done on that erotica I was mentioning, and I have some work to do on the website as well. It doesn't look as good as it should. It's a freebie site, though, so I'm very limited as to what I can accomplish with it, but it needs to be better organized with respect to my planned stories. Thankfully I have plenty of things to occupy my time these days, including the development of a sub-domain site. It's been a while since I did any website work, so I have to get back into the lingo. Thankfully I have development software on my laptop, so I'm not worried about using site-builders for it. They're such limited pains in the ass.

Well, this could turn out to be a pretty exciting day, despite a distinct lack of romance, but if I had my druthers I think sex is better than romance anyway, despite the fact that there's none of that on the horizon either. You can't get much more intimate than sex. Besides, who are we fooling - 99% of the people who think they're in love are merely infatuated and in lust. It takes months, if not years, to truly know a person well enough to say that you love them. You have to know who the hell they are first. You would think most people would consider that a requirement, but sadly they don't seem to.

Happy Valentine's Day!!